Arteta stamps authority on points chase
- Disappointing player (3): Y. Mulumbu
- Yellow Bonus (1): Y. Mulumbu
- Own Goal (3): S. Distin
- Minor handbags (1): S. Distin
- Minor handbags (1): C. Brunt
- Missed chance (1): J. Beckford
- Assist (1): G. Tamaş
- Assist (1): P. Jagielka
- Yellow Card (1): Y. Mulumbu
- Losing Team (1 each): T. Hibbert, L. Baines, J. Heitinga, P. Jagielka, L. Saha, M. Arteta, S. Distin, J. Beckford, T. Cahill, S. Pienaar, Y. Aiyegbeni, T. Howard, J. Rodwell, and V. Anichebe
- 3+ Goals Bonus (1 each): T. Hibbert, L. Baines, J. Heitinga, P. Jagielka, L. Saha, M. Arteta, S. Distin, J. Beckford, T. Cahill, S. Pienaar, Y. Aiyegbeni, T. Howard, J. Rodwell, and V. Anichebe
- Red Card (4): M. Arteta
- Yellow Card (1): J. Beckford
- Yellow Card (1): G. Dorrans
- Yellow Card (1): C. Brunt
- 2nd Yellow (2): Y. Mulumbu
By David Lee
A game that was big on goals but initially short on f**kwittery was salvaged by the heroic efforts of two players. First West Brom’s Gonzalo Jara sparked a flurry of handbags with two hefty challenges, the furore ultimately leading to the dismissal of Mikel Arteta. Then Youssouf Mulumbu managed to get himself sent off for two gloriously pointless yellow cards in the space of approximately thirty seconds – the first of them, even more gloriously, the result of celebrating someone else’s own goal.
The points awards started off modestly enough, with Phil Jagielka picking up one for an assist when he was outjumped by Paul Scharner for West Brom’s first goal. Gabriel Tamas picked up a similar point when Tim Cahill climbed high to head in Everton’s only goal.
But things got much more interesting in the second half when Everton’s Jermaine Beckford found himself one-on-one with Scott Carson, his effort half-cleared by the keeper and then hooked away by Gabriel Tamas. As it bounced out, Jara jumped for the ball with Leighton Baines, leading with a high arm that knocked Baines to the floor, right in front of referee Lee Mason – who took no action.
That infuriated Everton. Steven Pienaar tried and failed to take Jara out as he carried the ball away, and when Jara dived in with another hefty tackle on Arteta seconds later, chaos ensued. Arteta picked up a straight red for stamping on Jara, Chris Brunt and Sylvain Distin squared up for a bit of handbags – and the F**Kwit scoreboard went into overdrive.
Mulumbu’s dismissal was less dramatic but equally comic. After putting away West Brom’s fourth goal – which was ultimately deemed to be an own goal by Distin – he disappeared into the crowd in celebration, picking up the inevitable yellow card and double f**kwit points. Moments later, he tackled Pienaar from behind in the middle of the pitch to earn a second yellow, a triumph of pointlessness that also earned him the gong for most disappointing player on the day.